2 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're Spiraling In the Comparison Trap
Stop. Breathe. Ask.
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Presented by LMNT:
Comparison is the thief of joy.
It’s a sentence you’ve heard a zillion times before, likely.
Let’s provide an example, yeah? You have a Substack. You’re stoked on the success of said Substack. You’ve defined success in two ways: 1. An open rate threshold (percentage of how many folks open the newsletter versus simply receive it) and 2. Delivering the newsletter on a consistent basis.
You hear that your friend also has a Substack. (Fun!) You learn that she has triple the subscribers of yours. That makes you feel inferior and that you’re not doing “enough.” Suddenly, your happiness isn’t as bright or shiny. In fact, you now feel bummed.
Remember when you were stoked all of 3 minutes ago?
Let’s use a fitness example. You finally got your first pull-up. This is MAJOR! You’re elated! Overjoyed! On your walk home from the gym, you open up your Instagram and see someone cranking out eight in a row. You suddenly feel like your single is just … meh.
Comparison, it does that. It can rob you of your self-esteem. While it’s not super easy to stay in your own lane and put the blinders on, there are two questions I ask every time I feel the comparison gremlin creeping in:
1. Am I comparing my starting line to someone else’s finish line?
Robin Arzon came on the show earlier this year. She talked about a cookbook that she’s working on (exciting!) — and got honest about how difficult it is not to compare herself to others in the space. I’m doing so, she made an important distinction: There are folks that have been in the cookbook game for a minute. Of course, it’s natural to look to them for inspiration and motivation! But, she knows better than to compare where she’s at as a beginner to someone who’s on their fourth bestseller.
Be honest with yourself: What are you looking at? Having grace with yourself as you begin any journey is beyond critical.
2. Where can I find the good today?
Looking for a small joy when comparison strikes can help shift you out of a victim mindset. Important to reiterate here: Seeking something positive does not need to be an entire overhaul of your schedule. Heck, you don’t have to change a thing. Maybe it’s simply taking a minute to make yourself a hot cup of tea in the afternoon from that box in the pantry you’ve been meaning to crack open. Or, sending a text to a friend telling them that they mean something to you.
Do these questions help me rewind time to before the comparison happened? Of course not. But they do help me rejigger my focus. And that, in itself, is a win.
Keep hurdling,
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
I’m Listening To: SOS Deluxe: Lana by SZA
As if her Super Bowl appearance wasn’t outstanding enough, SZA dropped a new deluxe edition of her December 2024 album Lana with four new songs: “Joni” (ft. Don Toliver), “Take You Down”, a solo version of “Open Arms”, and “PSA”.
I’m (Re)Watching: Nike’s “So Win” Commercial
The brand’s first Super Bowl commercial in 27 years highlights a slew of stellar female athletes in sport, including A’ja Wilson, Caitlin Clark, JuJu Watkins, Jordan Chiles, Sabrina Ionescu, Sha’Carri Richardson, Alexia Putellas, Aryna Sabalenka, and Sophia Smith Wilson. The premise? Addressing some of the limitations that are often put on female athletes (like their behavior and how they look). This commercial’s without-a-doubt one of the few that stuck out to me this year. What were your favorites?
Gear I Love: Adidas Dropset 3 Strength Training Shoes
I am shook! I’ve never worn an Adidas training sneaker before, and this particular model reminds me a lot of the Reebok Nano (which I used to rock constantly during my CrossFit days). This style’s comfortable and stable, idyllic for lifting days. (Do not, DO NOT — did you get that? — wear these for running!)
I’m Reading: “Love Abby: UConn Huskies’ Forever Bond With One Magical Fan” by Sam Borden for ESPN
What a special, special story — reported by my friend Sam — about a meaningful, one-of-a-kind friendship between Abby, a young girl with cancer, and the players from the UConn women’s basketball team. Abby passed at age 13 in October, and there’s now a foundation in her name: The Abigail Zittoun Family Foundation.
Text I’m loving: "A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships." — Helen Keller, who became the first deaf and blind person in the United States to earn a college degree, on perseverance.
MY SOMETHING NEW
One of my goals for 2025 is to do something new every single week. I wrote about this a few weeks back. So, I thought that it could be fun to write a bit about what I’m doing here weekly, too. Dig it? Let me know in the comments below ⬇️
Thursday, February 13: Speed Dating (!!)
Do it for the plot, right? At the time I scheduled this newsletter to publish, I have not yet attended said speed dating event. Stay tuned, I’ll come back with takeaways next week. Happy love week, all.
Thanks to LMNT — an electrolyte drink mix with everything you need and nothing you don't — for supporting Hurdle.
Gotta give some love to LMNT, zero-sugar hydration to support your active lifestyle. I’m a salty sweater (cute, I know). These electrolytes are my go-to to perform better. I like them not just because they taste great (the watermelon salt is my favorite as of late), but they’re also without artificial ingredients, sugar, and coloring. With LMNT, you can:
☀️ Kickstart your mornings
💪 Fuel workouts and improve recovery
They’ve got a flavor for every taste (my personal go-tos are grapefruit and watermelon). Head to DrinkLMNT.com/Hurdle to get a FREE LMNT sample pack with any purchase. To claim this deal you must go to DrinkLMNT.com/Hurdle — no code necessary. While you’re there, check out LMNT sparkling, my favorite flavor is hands-down the grapefruit!
Today is Valentine’s Day, so the podcast this week is all about love. Self-love, loving others, and all type of relationships. Love is the foundation that shapes our perspective, and regardless of your marital status — can impact your health and wellbeing.
Honored to have this conversation with The New York Times bestselling author Diego Perez, known to his 4+ million followers by the name Yung Pueblo. Diego shares with me the lessons he's learned within his marriage, highlights the red and green flags of dating, and his takeaways from writing his new book — out next month, How to Love Better.
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Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next week.
Thank you for helping keep my mental health in check today Emily, I really needed that first part 🥺