3 Life-Changing Lessons I've Learned Living In New York
Aside from, don't ever enter an empty subway car.
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Growing up about an hour and change outside of New York, I always knew I wanted to move here. Fast forward: I’m coming up on 14 years of living in the city that people do actually sleep in (I should know, as someone who loves to get close to eight hours a night). In all seriousness: New York has truly shaped who I am and who I’m becoming.
There’s a lot I’ve learned while living here. Things like, don’t get in an empty subway car. Speaking of subways, the weekend schedule’s different. There’s no north and south here, only uptown and downtown. Most people that work in an office are carrying gym clothes, a laptop, an extra pair of shoes, a water bottle, phone charger, and wallet in their bag at any given moment. Oh, and you don’t toast a fresh bagel, ever.
And then, there are the bigger lessons. The ones that I look at as some of my guiding principles. Those are the ones I’m here to share today:
1. Be Your Own Biggest Hype Human
It’s really interesting what times of desperation teach you about yourself and the world. Back in 2016, I was recently let go from my job as an online editor at Rodale when I got an interview to be the fitness editor at SELF. I walked into my first-ever meeting with an editor-in-chief (at the time, SELF’s EIC was Joyce Chang) — and before leaving her bright office on the 37th floor, I said something that still gives me chills to this day:
“I’ve never been a print editor, but I promise you that whatever I don’t know, I’ll learn within one month of being here, and I’ll do this job better than anyone else that you may interview for it.”
… It came out like word vomit. It was the truth, though. My truth got me hired the next day, and instilled in me the importance of believing in your own greatness. It’s not that I don’t experience self-doubt or worry. But even in moments of turbulence, I firmly believe in what I bring to the table. That’s some empowering stuff.
When you’re your own biggest hype human first, then others get excited to be in your presence. That confidence, it’s contagious. You can’t expect others to be your cheerleader if you’re not out there willing to throw down a routine, pom poms and all.
2. Get Comfortable Asking for Help
Transparently, this is a forever work in progress on my side! However, I understand and appreciate that in order to do new things, you have to try new things. In 2024, a big part of that was asking for help from friends and trusted contacts. Asking for help exemplifies self awareness (recognizing that you have a situation you desire assistance with), can help you get better results, and builds relationships.
A mentor of mine recently said “the more you do it, the less foreign it feels, and you start to lessen the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
Perfection isn’t relatable. Vulnerability, though? That definitely is. And that vulnerability in the act of asking for help is what builds your network, and then make headway toward the next level.
3. Dream Bigger Than What Feels Realistic
When I ran the 2019 Chicago Marathon, I had a goal of 3:40:00. I ended up smashing that goal that October day and coming across the finish line with a BQ (thats Boston Qualifying, for any non-runners in the chat). I accomplished something that was never even a goal for me, transparently because I didn’t think it was possible. I wasn’t chasing it, simply because I thought it was beyond my capability.
… I was wrong.
That day, I learned what greatness can happen when you stop standing in your own way. That when we think big, it unlocks new doors. This, be willing to get a little delusional, tidbit is a lesson that’s stuck with me as I’m continually reevaluating what I’m after. It’s also a mindset that’s shared by some excellent women I’ve interviewed, including Dakotah Lindwurm and Des Linden.
Always a student. Always learning. Always growing.
TELL ME: What’s a lesson you’ve learned that you come back to time and time again?
Keep hurdling,
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
I’m Reading: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Me … and everyone else!
I’m Testing Out: Brick
I’ve always loved my Apple Watch because it helps me not randomly pick up my iPhone every time I get a notification. With that said, I’m still totally part of the camp of humans who are doomscrolling a tad too often, even with the looming TikTok ban. So! Enter Brick: It’s a small 3D-printed square, similar in size to my AirPods Pro case. It pairs with your iPhone to block virtually any app you want (and the app’s notifications). My Brick literally arrived yesterday, so I’ll be back soon with more thoughts!
Quote I Love: “Fear is often our immediate response to uncertainty. There's nothing wrong with experiencing fear. They key is not to get stuck in it.” — Gabby Bernstein
MY SOMETHING NEW
One of my goals for 2025 is to do something new every single week. I wrote about this in last week’s newsletter. So, I thought that it could be fun to write a bit about what I’m doing here weekly, too. Dig it? Let me know in the comments below ⬇️
Thursday, January 16: Soto Method
Went to this workout studio for the first time yesterday, and it happened to be the first time in a long time that the instructor really inspired me to show up and work hard — while being bright and a burst of positive energy. (Kudos to you, Aliyah Sims.) The class is essentially a combination of HIIT and Pilates, and SOTO stands for “Sixty on. Ten on.” So, the goal is to fire up each muscle group with a 60-second isometric hold, then sustain that burn through a series of 10 dynamic movements. Not something I’d personally do weekly, but a fun one-off!
Thanks to Future — a workout experience that pairs you one-on-one with your own fitness coach — for supporting Hurdle.
I receive messaged from hurdlers who are feeling lost with their workout routine every single day. I don’t want you to feel lost, but if you are — I am happy that I have this offer to give you. Enter Future, a workout app that pairs you with a coach who will map out a plan based on your goals, with workouts delivered to your phone each week.
Future, your Apple Watch (don’t worry, then loan you one for free if you don’t have!), and the app all pair seamlessly so you and your coach can track your progress, celebrate achievements, and keep you accountable every day. I have absolutely loved working with my coach Brandon, and I feel comfortable knowing he’s got my best interest in mind — planning workouts specifically for me (and my body/injury history). He’s so good at following up with me post-sweat, asking how the different movements felt, and communicating to help me get to where I want to be.
Get started right now with an INSANE DEAL — 50% off your first month with the special Hurdle offer. Head on over to TryFuture.com/Hurdle to get the deal today!
🎧 NEW PODCAST EPISODE: 338. Tips For a Fresh Start In the New Year: Embracing 2025, Using Affirmations To Your Advantage & the Perks Of Quitting With Yasmine Cheyenne
There’s a lot of pressure to start over at the beginning of a new year. Days after “Quitter’s Day,” I’m sitting down with self-care expert and the newest addition to the Start Today family, Yasmine Cheyenne. We’re talking about everything from how to meet yourself with grace during moments of transition and embracing the good in your routine to how to “break the matrix” and how to answer the question “what’s best for me?” without shame or guilt.
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Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next week.
Keep going! Keep working - especially when you don't see the horizon of the result or when someone tells you it's unreachable and impossible - that's the exact moment you need to stand up tall and not let the demons knock you down. This is what happened to me last month - I finally met parents again after 18.5 years of separation! I finally hugged my mom and dad after being apart for 18,5 years. I finally was able to cross that US border with my greencard in hand and go fly to Thailand to my beloved best people on earth to hug them and spend the best week of my life with my one and only MOM and DAD. Weeks before that happened I was told by a congressman office that they cannot approve the expedited request of issuing of my greencard. I did not stop there - I couldn't, this furious girl wrote many letters and made physical visits to these people to reiterate that it's been 18.5 years since I last saw my family, spent holidays and birthdays together. 18.5 years. 18.5 years since they've been holding my immigration case for no reason at all. And on December 24, 2024 I could finally say "Happy Birthday" to my dad in person and hug him. This is the type of battle that noone could understand and feel but my parents and I went thru it and I am immensely grateful to them that I could see and hug them... Alive.