3 Strategies For Handling Bad News
You're entitled to feel all the feels. Then, implement these tips.
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I’m sitting down to write this newsletter after receiving two emails of back-to-back bummer-type news. In the scheme of things, the disappointments aren’t major game changers, and they don’t impact my bottom line too much. It’s not lost on me that there’s a lot of things happening that are much worse. But I was thinking about my response (or lack thereof — for now), and wanted to shed some light on how I manage bad news in an effort to help you do so, too. Especially these days, as our TV sets, go-to news podcasts, and newsfeeds are plagued with it.
When we receive bad news, it can trigger your body's “fight or flight” response. This is your body's evolved response for coping with intense danger. So, it’s entirely understandable that a rough blip can throw you into an emotional tailspin, decrease your motivation for other tasks, or even propel you into making reactionary (and sometimes irrational) decisions.
Note: My tactics for coping are geared toward the frustration that comes with things like a failed goal, a rough email exchange, a tough text message — that sort of thing. And as always, if you’re struggling and feelings of hopelessness or frustration linger for a long time — reach out to a licensed therapist to chat.
Feel your feelings. We don’t work hard for things to not go as we’d hoped. That holds true in every aspect of life, from our personal and athletic pursuits to the way that we show up in relationships. So, if you get some bad news, feel some kinda way. It’s OK. Feeling is an important step to moving forward. Whatever you do: Do NOT respond or react in this moment if it involves another person. Take time to respond versus react.
60 seconds of box breath. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds. Repeat using a 60-second timer on your phone. When you do this breathing pattern, you’re distracting your mind with the task at hand and calming your nervous system, which decreases stress in the body. It also helps to lower blood pressure. I use this tool sometimes to make things easier.
Make a list. I’m a heavy thinker. I’m often trying to think my way out of situations instead of feel through them. As we covered in the first tactic, that’s not healthy. So, after the feeling and the box breath, then it’s time to put pen to paper. Write a list of the aspects of the situation that are out of your control, and then those that you can do something about. For the things that you have some influence over, try to come up with some achievable plans to make the situation better. The more SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound) your plan is, the better.
In the heat of a difficult moment, I always come back to the same thought:
Are you going to let 10 seconds ruin the other 86,390 seconds in your day?
That choice is entirely up to you. Keep hurdling,
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
I’m Listening To: Love to See It with Emma and Claire
Fun fact: I’m actually going to be on this podcast early next week! I’ve watched The Bachelor franchise for years, so it was fun when my friend Leigh asked me to join in on the conversation this week. If you, too, are looking forward to the finales of The Golden Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise — this is a great recap show to add to your podcast listening queue.
I’m Reading: Marie Claire
A huge congrats to my dear friend Nikki Ogunnaike, editor-in-chief of Marie Claire, on the release of the first issue done under her leadership! This Issa Rae cover story is so, so good.
Gear I’m Loving: Away Bigger Carry-On
My go-to carry-on luggage is currently 20% off, something that Away rarely does (put things on sale). I can attest that this suitcase is it, as I’ve traveled the world with it, and it truly holds up. Plus: Their customer service is fabulous, meaning if something happens to your bag — it’s got a lifetime warranty.
Quote I’m Loving: “Curiosity can help us trace a clear trajectory to our transformation. As we change and shed old layers, we will have to get to know ourselves again and again by periodically asking ourselves: What are my real aspirations? Who do I really want to spend time with? How can I better align my actions to support my new evolution?” — Yung Pueblo in Lighter
Thanks to AG1 — the daily Foundational Nutrition supplement that supports whole-body health — for supporting Hurdle.
I drink it literally every day. I originally gave AG1 a try years ago because I was tired of taking so many supplements and wanted a single solution that supports my entire body and covers my nutritional bases. Plus, I was popping way too many gummy vitamins. I wanted better gut health, a boost (or similar) in energy, immune system support, and also wanted a supplement that actually tastes great. I shake it up every morning after my workout, and truly it makes me feel energized and confident knowing that I’m doing something good for my body by giving it the nutrition I deserve — including 75 whole food-sourced ingredients, prebiotics, probiotics, adaptogens, and superfoods.
If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkAG1.com/hurdle.
One in four Americans are aware of the sober curious movement, and 34% said they were trying to drink less in 2023. To chat about this, I called on Dr. Sarah Wakeman, the senior medical director for substance use disorder at Mass General Brigham and a national thought leader in treatment for substance use disorders. In this episode, we define sober curiosity, learn about alcohol use disorder, and how to decide whether a sober-curious lifestyle is right for you. Plus: How to talk to friends and family about your alcohol choices, whether there's truth to the "red wine is good for you" line we've been hearing for years, how many drinks are acceptable under the U.S. Dietary Guidelines, and how alcohol really impacts on the body.
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Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next week.
Emily - Your comment about trying to think your way out of situations reminded me of a quote by Father Richard Rohr, a wonderful spiritual writer.
"We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking."
The timing of this! I woke up to a job rejection email today - not even an interview - for a role I felt I was actually overqualified for. UGH!! But it wasn't meant to be, and your email WAS meant to be sitting at the top of my inbox. Feel, breathe, write...move on. Thank you, Emily.