An Essential Road Trip
An Essential Road Trip
The (brief) shift from my 500-square-foot apartment that helped me come back to my foundation.
Ninety-four straight days in New York City.
I was starting to feel numb. In recent years, it would be an anomaly if I wasn’t out of town at least twice a month on business. In recent months — with the pandemic — it was an anomaly if I left my Upper East Side neighborhood once in a 5-day period. The farthest I’ve traveled outside of my 500-square-foot apartment was to Coney Island, once, about 15 miles from home, on May 16.
This week, that changed.
For a while now, I hoped to find the time to rent a car and reclaim some space come June. Grandma decided to ride things out in Florida, and her house on Long Island has been empty for months. Last week, Dad told me she’d been asking him to go check on it, and I immediately volunteered as tribute.
It’ll be good for me, I said.
I need a minute for myself, so I can get back to feeling like myself.
I want to be more present.
I need to reset.
I don’t think I realized just how much I needed the trip until I got in the car, crossed the Whitestone Bridge, and made it onto the Cross Island. Just me, my thoughts, and the open road. For the past 94 days, I stayed in New York because of safety — of course — but also because I felt a little like it was my responsibility. To myself. To my work. To my community, even. As Lake Street Dive blasted on the radio and the warm breeze blew my brown hair around, I felt grateful that I stepped out — even if it would only be for a few days.
Upon arrival at Grandma’s, I punched in the garage code and felt a wave of nostalgia hit me square in the face as it slowly opened. To the right, my late grandfather’s work bench, tools hung overhead. I made my way into the house and saw the couch where I’ve spent oh-so-many nights. I thought of the countless Christmas Eves, inebriated off of stellar red wine, eating mozzarella from Arthur Avenue and arguing over whether it was best served drizzled with olive oil or aged balsamic.
I wondered if we’ll be able to gather there this year in a safe way.
I made my way into the kitchen, and wished more than anything that Grandma was there, too, so we could make Sunday sauce on a Tuesday. I climbed the stairs, turned to my left, and smiled glancing into her sewing room, complete with the remnants from her last handmade purse.
… I ached to be with my family, but found gratitude in feeling closer to them than I have in months.
I downloaded a new podcast episode, ordered takeout tacos from my favorite local spot for curbside pick-up, and headed down to a small beach I found on Google maps — about an 8-minute drive from the house. I arrived at a small parking lot overlooking the coastline. In the distance, I saw families winding down what was undoubtedly a perfect beach day. One by one, Jeep after Jeep drove by me, shifted gears, and descended upon the sand below. In the sky above, the most beautiful cerulean shades started to swirl with light pinks and orange hues as the sun started to set.
I felt it hit me again — the gratitude.
How didn’t I know about this place? I wondered, reflecting on the 16 years that Grandma lived in the house.
How come we never came here?
Sitting there on the hood of my rental alone, mask in tow, I appreciated the moment. I reflected on the day’s worth of fresh air. Inhaled the smell of fresh cut grass and ocean spray. I took out a notebook and started writing while watching the sun start to dip even closer to the horizon.
It’s easy, to get caught up in the overwhelm. Sitting there, I realized how important it was for me to have that moment. To find my gratitude. To circle back to my ethos.
In that moment, I felt like me again.
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PROMPT: What are your favorite simple pleasures?
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HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
LISTEN TO: The Viva Wellness Podcast
Viva Wellness, a holistic wellness center in Brooklyn, was co-founded by Rachel Gersten and Jor-El Caraballo. It offers both direct services (like counseling, therapy, and coaching) and resources (worksheets, a blog, and more). Also: A podcast! This week, the founders are offering up tips on how to have difficult conversations about racism.
WATCH: Just Mercy
Watched this powerful movie last weekend. Starring Michael B. Jordan and Jamie Foxx as civil rights lawyer Bryan Stevenson and falsely accused death row inmate Walter McMillian, respectively, this is really, really well done. You can watch it for free on YouTube.
BUY: Athleta Stash Pocket 7’’ Short ($59), Nike City Ready Short ($90), or Under Armour Meridien Bike Short ($60)
Ladies, this is for you. I get the question: what shorts do you wear for your runs? very, very often. I have thighs that rub together when I get moving (and let’s be serious, when I’m not, too), which means I’m after a short with at least a 6-inch inseam. These are my three newest obsessions. The Nike pair is the only one without large pockets (that’s where a SpiBelt comes in). The other two have adequate storage for a phone as well as other necessities, like hand sanitizer, gloves, and keys.
READ: “Black Track Athletes Share Their Encounters With Racism” In America by Chris Chavez for Sports Illustrated
Chavez, a teammate of mine on Brooklyn Track Club, spoke with 14 different Black track and field athletes about their lives beyond sport and their experiences with racism. It’s a lengthy, very worthwhile read.
Leaving you today with a quote from the above article:
“I feel that people may know this, but I want people to recognize and audibly come to terms with the fact that Black people are talented. We are strong … We may bend, but we are never going to break.”
- Shamier Little, 2015 400-meter hurdles world championship silver medalist