Beware of the Comparison Trap
Another year older, and I’m doing things my way.
Welcome back to the Weekly Hurdle! Each week, I’ll share a blog post, follow it up with a thought-provoking prompt to take you into the weekend, and finish things off with some content picks and highlights of the week. Please, tag/DM me on social @emilyabbate and @hurdlepodcast if you like what you see!
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My 32nd birthday’s next week. With June 2 on the horizon, I’ve been doing a decent amount of reflection. I’ve stopped to think about the past 365 days. I’ve thought about my hopes for the next 365 days. I’ve reflected on all of my years as a whole. Just the other day, I called one of my oldest friends as I walked up Second Avenue carrying a $12 bag of fruit from a street vendor, and I said the sentence “I’ve known you for almost 20 years.”
… and in that moment, I became my mother.
I digress. Later that night, I was standing in my rather small, dimly-lit bathroom getting ready for bed. I looked up at the mirror after washing my face. I thought about going to grab some Windex to give it a quick clean, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Not the mirror. This thought: Your mom had you at 32.
At that moment, I got unexpectedly emotional. Like, tears in my eyes, emotional. It felt as though I was ill-prepared for the entire sequence. My cheeks flushed. I stumbled out of the bathroom, veered left, and sat down on my bed. I stared into the darkness of my living room and took a deep breath. I was unsure where these intense feelings were coming from. Especially because I can say for certain that I am nowhere near ready to have a child, and I certainly don’t wish that I’d had one by now.
I let out a deep sigh. I felt a shift, as if a weight lifted off of my shoulders.
Everything’s OK, I thought. Actually, it’s more than OK.
I took an emotional step back, and paused to ponder all of the other things that are happening in my life. All of the things that have happened. Within seconds, I realized I was smiling. When I stopped to think about the things I’ve accomplished, I was — and still am — beside myself with pride.
The sheer fact that I can make a living as my own boss. I live in an apartment located in one of the most expensive cities in the world and pay my rent on time every single month. I’ve run eight marathons (and BQ’d!). Traveled to a handful of foreign countries. Some even, alone! Climbed rocks in Joshua Tree. Had the opportunity to speak to crowds of over 1,000 people, sharing my story and hoping to inspire others. That whole The New York Times mention was pretty unreal. I once even successfully wore an entire “winter white” outfit … in public (!).
Just a snippet, but you get the idea. I’ve done a helluva lot.
Without a doubt, you’ve also done things in your life that are outstanding. Perhaps, some you never expected. You’ve pivoted. Picked yourself up at hard times. Showed up to adversity. Shed some tears and celebrated some big wins. Made an impact on someone, somewhere.
It’s pretty special, right? All of it. The good stuff. The bad stuff. The lessons all of that stuff has taught us along the way.
It’s really easy to think about how things could or should be. To be made to feel like if you’re not doing X or Y that you’ve totally flopped. To wonder if the things that you are doing are enough. When you stop comparing yourself to others and ask yourself the question: How do you feel about yourself when you’re by yourself? That’s the true definition of success. That’s the important stuff.
For me, at (almost) 32? I feel pretty damn great.
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PROMPT: What’s one thing you’ve done in the past two weeks that makes you proud?
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THIS WEEK’S PICKS
SIGN UP: The Perfect Mile
Did you listen to Monday’s episode with Tracksmith’s co-founder and CEO Matt Taylor? Well, Tracksmith is teaming up with a slew of brands including WHOOP, Ciele, Hyperice, ROKA, and Linden X Two for The Perfect Mile, a global virtual run to raise money for those helping to fight COVID-19. Registration for The Perfect Mile opened on May 26, and the event is going through this weekend, May 31, at 11:50 p.m. EST. The $15 sign-up fee earns participants a digital race pack including discounts to all participating brands, as well as a commemorative digital sticker that can be shared on social.
And because — plugs — check out WHOOP founder Will Ahmed on Hurdle, and Des Linden, too.
CLICK ON OVER TO: Dear Sunday
A good friend of mine Cassie Shortsleeve just launched Dear Sunday, an online platform offering real pregnancy, postpartum, and new motherhood guidance. She’s a veteran journalist and after having her daughter — named Sunday — last year, she came to the realization that she wished she had better access to information about pregnancy and motherhood when she needed it most. That’s where her new baby, Dear Sunday, comes in — with pregnancy e-guides, webinars, perinatal coaching services, and so much more. To celebrate the launch, Cassie’s encouraging women to share a photo of their motherhood experience to Instagram using the hashtag #DearMomToBe and tagging @dearsundaymotherhood. Give it a looksee, momma hurdlers.
GIVE BACK: #SaveRowgatta
I met Nadav Ben-Chanoch and Kenny Rosenzweig a few years ago doing CrossFit at Brick in Midtown. Just last year, they launched their own group fitness studio called Rowgatta. As you can imagine, a global pandemic makes it extra difficult to be a studio owner, so they’re stepping up to raise money, awareness, and do everything they can to save their business. Beginning this Saturday, May 30, they’ll be attempting a series of increasingly difficult challenges starting with 1,000 burpees each. Of course, they’ll be streaming it to their YouTube channel, Facebook live, Instagram live, and via Zoom.
GIVE YOUR BODY SOME TLC: Custom Performance’s “Pay What You Like” sessions
As someone who knows what it’s like to be on the injured list, I have a soft spot for this highlight from Custom Performance, which offers physical therapy, coaching, and recovery. They’re offering “pay what you like” virtual sessions, and I don’t know a single human that couldn’t benefit from this. They’ve also got a new service called “Fresh Start” — made especially for runners who want advice and direction on where to go next in the midst of all of this craziness. If you’re local to NYC, the Custom Performance studio itself will be opening back up on June 15 for hands-on care, and they’re offering 50 percent off services — which is huge. To book, email info@nycustompt.com.
GEAR UP: “We’re In This Together” sweater from Ellsworth + Ivey
A hurdler passed this one my way! Her company, Ellsworth + Ivey, is selling a super cute “We're In This Together” sweater, and 70 percent of all proceeds are going to Feeding America's Coronavirus Response Fund.
LISTEN: Running for Real podcast with Tina Muir
This week, I’m on Tina Muir’s Running for Real podcast! I’m so appreciative to her for having me on the show. We talk about how I got through some of my biggest #hurdlemoments, and this is probably the most candid I’ve ever been on someone else’s show. So much gratitude to the listeners from Tina’s audience who are new to the Hurdle feed.
Closing today with another pull quote from Let Your Mind Run by Deena Kastor, which I finally finished last week and chatted about with my book club last night:
“You’re inner strength is where you gain a real advantage.”
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OFFERS!
Reebok | Go to reebok.com for 40% off sale and full price items with code “HURDLE” Note: global exclusions apply, including but not limited to Nano X, Zig, and Club C. Items will be marked as excluded on the product description page.
Beam | New product alert! Obsessing over Beam’s newest release this week: Dream capsules, with nano CBD, melatonin, magnesium, reishi, and L-theanine. Head to beamtlc.com to get 15 percent off your purchase using the code “HURDLE” at checkout.
Athletic Greens | Head to athleticgreens.com/hurdle to get 20 free travel packs ($79 value) with your first purchase, no code necessary.
Daily Harvest | Go to dailyharvest.com and enter promo code “HURDLE25” at checkout to get $25 dollars off your first box.
Power Dot | Go to powerdot.com and use the code “HURDLE” at checkout for 20% off.
WHOOP | Head to whoop.com to get a free WHOOP strap plus 15 percent off any membership by entering the code "HURDLE" at checkout.
Four Sigmatic | Head to foursigmatic.com/hurdle and use the code “HURDLE” at checkout for 15 percent off your purchase today.