How Do You ~Want~ To Make People Feel?

It's a question worth asking.

Jul 29, 2022

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Presented by AG1 by Athletic Greens:

I’m in Utah. I got here about an hour ago. I’m here to help facilitate a conference that my dear friend Vanessa is putting on (click here to learn more about Unleashed). V picked me up from the Salt Lake City airport, and as we drove to the hotel I looked at her and asked how she’s feeling about the festivities kicking off tomorrow. After she said “pretty good,” I followed that up with a “what’s your biggest concern going into it?”

“I’ve put together a great team of people,” she said. “The programming is there. But I just hope that the women that are coming, the participants, they leave feeling how I want them to feel. They leave feeling like they get something out of it.”

I asked, aside from the team and the activities that she’s orchestrated, how she’s ensured that they will indeed leave feeling empowered, excited, and (as you’d expect by the name) — unleashed.

She paused, and looked back in my direction (well, as much as she could at a large intersection.

I smiled. “It starts with you,” I told her. “When they see you excited and empowered and vulnerable, that encourages the same within them.” (There was some other more technical advice, in which I asked her how she’s planning to open up and close down the conference, and we also chatted about some of my favorite takeaways from Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering).

She smiled, and I did, too. I talk about this in a different context in today’s installment of 5-MINUTE FRIDAY on the show, but the first step to encouraging people to be great is to believe that you are, too. When I stop and think about how I want someone to feel when they walk away from an interaction with me, I come up with some of the same words V shared. I often think: How do I want people to feel when they meet me? How would that person describe me when I walk away?

I get it: We may not always exude happiness or greatness, understanding or curiosity. But, when I’m mentally and physically where my feet are, in the moment, I know who I am, what I offer, and what I want those feelings to be. If the words that I’d use to describe myself aren’t the same ones someone else may use, then I ask myself: Why?

Usually, that’s when the inner audit comes in. Asking myself questions I may not want to answer because it feels uncomfortable: Why aren’t you showing up how you want to? What is it about life right now that has you hiding behind your truth?

Plain and simple: The vibe starts with you. You don’t need to wait until tomorrow to shift your perspective or outlook. To embrace your greatness. To be unapologetically yourself. We each have the opportunity to choose to be our best selves, knowing that we leave others better by doing that. Embracing that? That’s how you garner a little more control over your circumstance.

Go on; Keep hurdling,

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK

I’m Listening To: #422: Fear-Setting: The Most Valuable Exercise I Do Every Month on The Tim Ferriss Show
I had dinner with a friend earlier this week who turned me onto this exercise called fear-setting, which he learned from podcaster Tim Ferriss. Essentially, fear-setting is a way to visualize all the bad things that could happen to you, so you because less afraid of taking action. Think of it as the opposite of goal setting. This episode explains it in detail, and it may be just the tool that you need to navigate whatever #hurdlemoment you’re dealing with right now.

I’m Not Watching: The Bachelorette
I’m typically all-in on Bachelor/ette Mondays, but I was busy on the premiere night earlier this month and haven’t taken any time to turn it on. Should I? Is it worth watching? Can someone let me know in the comments below?

Thank you to my sponsor, AG1 from Athletic Greens, for supporting this week’s newsletter!

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🎧 NEW PODCAST EPISODE: Emma Bates, Pro Marathoner
Emma Bates is familiar with hurdles. Within the last decade, she lost her father, went through a divorce, and uprooted her life to a new city to train with Team Boss. But through it all, she's persevered and chased her goals. In this week’s episode — recorded live at the World Athletic Championships — I sit down with Emma to talk about it all: Her backstory, how she persisted after the #hurdlemoment of her father's passing, and what it feels like to finally have solid female friendships and support for the first time in her life. We also recap her outstanding PR performance at the marathon in Eugene, what it feels like to be inspiring others, and what she's looking forward to next. Thanks to her sponsor, Asics, for offering the Hurdle communty $15 off $100+ by using “HURDLE15” at Asics.com.

🎧 NEW PODCAST EPISODE: #HURDLEMOMENT: How to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
This week I’m re-upping my conversation with Michael Easter, author of the book The Comfort Crisis, Embrace Discomfort To Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self. He’s a contributing editor at Men’s Health, columnist for Outside, and professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. He's traveled the world researching the benefits of why it's important to get comfortable with the uncomfortable — going as far as trekking up to the Arctic to do just that. In Wednesday’s episode, he shares his biggest takeaways from the other professors, adventurers, and researchers he spoke to along the way, helping us gain a better understanding of why we must break through the walls of our comfort zones and what to do if you get stuck along the way.

HURDLER SPOTLIGHT

Want to be featured in an upcoming Weekly Hurdle? Submit your info (or a friend’s!) in this Google Form.

This week’s Hurdler of the week: Ashley

Location: Brooklyn, New York

Occupation: Health writer and marketer

What’s going on in your life that excites you right now? “I’m currently training for the London Marathon — my big No. 10!”

What’s one thing you love about Hurdle? “The host is pretty cool! (Em and I are friends IRL.) But also, the content and guests are very relatable and reachable and it feels more of a conversation I could even have with them.”

How can we support you? “I’m running the marathon to honor my late stepmom Jane, who passed away from brain cancer. If you’d consider donating to my cause, raising awareness and funds for Brain Research UK, it would mean so much. And remember: Squeeze the people you care about. Smile at strangers. Speak up and out often, even through fear. And, consider donating!”

To donate, click here.

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Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next week.

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