Confronting The Real Isn't Always Easy

Acceptance takes time, but it's a beautiful lesson.

Welcome back to the Weekly Hurdle! Every Friday, I’ll share a blog post, follow it up with a thought-provoking prompt to take you into the weekend, and finish things off with some content picks. Please, tag or DM me on social @hurdlepodcast and @emilyabbate with your thoughts. This newsletter is free and will stay free thanks to sponsors and the individuals that opt-in to give. Consider signing up as a paid subscriber.

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When I was in high school, I used to wear my hair curly all of the time. Not like, curling-iron-waves curly. But my natural curly (like in the photo above). At the time, I was doing a lot of weight cycling, constantly in-and-out of Weight Watchers meetings with Mom, feeling less-than-awesome and uncomfortable in my own body. At my heaviest, I rarely touched any sort of hair styling tools. Instead I always had a can of TRESemmé mousse on standby. All of the photos I have of myself from high school and freshman year of college, with this style, are selfies. I didn’t want to show off my body. But at the time, I loved my hair. My hair was part of my sass, I thought.

Fast forward, about 70 pounds lost and a few different evolutions of Emily later, I rarely wear my hair this way. For a long time, I’ve associated my naturally curly hair with that stage of my life. When I go natural, I look in the mirror at the tighter, brown curls framing my face, and I feel as thought it looks bigger. My cheeks are fuller. I’m instantly transported back to the high school cafeteria, when I was sporadically made to feel lesser than because of my size.

… but that’s not who I am anymore. Over the past seven or eight months that we’ve all been spending more time at home, I’ve been working on getting more comfortable with it. With who I am as a whole, for sure. That’s a never ending process. But more specifically, my hair. I’ve been working on accepting who it is that I am now, actually seeing the woman that’s looking back at me in the mirror instead of imaging the girl that was in her place. For so long, I’ve looked at other women with a similar hair texture and thought “this looks great on them — but not on me!”

For some time, that’s been the narrative — 
a story that I’ve been telling myself.
… A story that I’m done believing. 

Yes, there will always be certain triggers that bring me back to that place. Triggers that bring me back to her. I’m sure that you may have them, too. Certain visuals or things about a time that was that bring you back to a previous version of yourself. But, I’m consciously and continually work on accepting the person that I’ve become. The person that I’m damn proud of now.

Last night, I stopped at CVS to grab a few things. (Do any other New Yorkers do small-item grocery shopping at CVS sometimes, or is this just me?) After grabbing essentials like cooking spray and chunky peanut butter, I made my way to the hair care aisle, reached for the black can of TRESemmé mousse, and smiled.

$5.99, well spent.

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PROMPT: What’s a story you’ve been telling yourself that you need to stop believing, ASAP?

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Thanks to Goodr — maker of fun, fashionable, and functional sunglasses that everyone can afford — for sponsoring today’s newsletter.

Fact: You’ll be hard-pressed to find active sunglasses that are as excellent as Goodrs. Not only are they polarized, super cozy, and no-bounce, but they also start at $25 (!). I’m a h-u-g-e fan of their Operation Blackout: Mach Gs, which are perfect for both running intervals at the track and casually wearing to my post-coffee errands.

I love to report that Hurdle listeners have been LOVING this deal! (Fun fact: Goodr thinks the Hurdlers are rad, too, so that’s pretty cool.) If you’ve already got your shades, tag the show on social and share a photo of you wearing your new glasses! Haven’t redeemed, yet? Head on over to goodr.com/hurdle and use “HURDLE10” at checkout for $10 off your purchase, ASAP!

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LISTENER QUESTION
“I feel like I can’t stick with journaling no matter how many times I try. How do I do it?!”
I’ve been there. In fact, over the years, I’ve tried so many different types of journals. Journals with prompts. A “one-line-a-day” situation. Simple lined journals. All the things. You have to find a journal format that feels like a release, instead of tedious. Also: Don’t be harsh on yourself if you skip a day here and there. I feel more organized and in better spirits when I take the time to get out what’s in my mind first thing in the morning. My go-to these days is a Baronfig Confidant Hardcover.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK

READ: Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man by Emmanuel Acho
By now, you’ve likely watched a handful of Acho’s videos on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. This week, he released his first book, and reviewers are calling it a “perfect read for those who might be intimidated by weightier books like How to Be an Antiracist.” I was geeked when I saw his Instagram post yesterday, revealing that he sold 18,000 books on day one.

LISTEN: Coffees Over Cold Brew with Emma Abrahamson
I met Emma a couple years ago at Nike’s World Headquarters, and I was instantly drawn to her positive vibe and excited attitude. She’s a huge YouTuber, upcoming TikTok-er, and earlier this year she launched this podcast. This week on the show, she’s chatting with Kelly Roberts, a friend of mine and founder or the #SportsBraSquad movement and Bad Ass Lady Gang. They’re back and forth about how to stop drinking the “diet culture poison punch,” is something I know will resonate with a lot of you.

WATCH: The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix
I went through the whole seven-episode series in about 48 hours and you probably will, too. The premise: a girl goes from playing chess in the basement of a 1950s orphanage to developing outstanding talent and making a huge name for herself. I don’t know what I expected when I turned it on, but I loved it. I am now taking suggestions for the next show I should watch — please, leave a comment. Also, I think lead actress Anya Taylor-Joy is stunning.

WRITE: Baronfig’s Letters to the Future Confidant Limited Edition Journal ($24)
Yo. THIS! I think this idea is awesome. Basically, it’s a notebook you can use as-is, but it also comes with envelopes. The idea is that you write letters to yourself to open at certain dates, and each page is perforated so that you can easily tear, seal, and read said letters in the future.

BUY: Nike Pegasus Shield 37 ($130)
Every single time it rains, without fail, I get a ton of DMs asking me if I have a go-to sneaker for this occasion. I’ve talked this up in the newsletter before, but bringing it back because the DMs are still flowing! This sneakers has really great traction for wet roads and a water-repellent finish. I biked down to the track wearing them a few weeks back, did a workout, and my socks were still dry when I went to take off my sneakers an hour later.

HOW CAN I SUPPORT HURDLE?

I’m so, so glad you asked! 

CHECK OUT: HURDLE SESSIONS
All past Sessions are now available on the Hurdle website.

Also, there are ton of new, FUN exciting Sessions coming down the pipe:

Intro to Freelance Writing, November 17 @ 7 p.m.
Take Your Running to the Next Level, November 19 @ 7 p.m.
End of Year Goal Setting Workshop, November 23 @ 7 p.m.
Handling #HURDLEMOMENTS, December 2 @ 7:30 p.m.

Use the code “NEWSLETTER” to get $5 off any of the above! This code is only good for the first 20 redemptions, so act fast.

SUBSCRIBE, RATE, AND REVIEW HURDLE: We’re now over 920 ratings and reviews in the iTunes store! Go on, get after it.
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SUPPORT THE SPONSORS: Athletic Greens! Four Sigmatic! Daily Harvest! WHOOP! SO many more!For a complete list of Hurdle’s sponsors — including a ton of GREAT offers and discount codes — click here.

JOIN: THE *Secret* FACEBOOK GROUP

HURDLE BOOK CLUB 
Our next book club gathering will be Wednesday, December 9 at 8 p.m. ET. and we’re going to read I Thought It Was Just Me” (But It Isn’t) by Brené Brown. To sign up for the book club email list, click here. In a few weeks, I’ll share the Zoom registration link. Please, only register at that time if you can definitely make our session!

Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next week.

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Disclosure: Some of the items above are hyperlinked to an affiliate program. I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.