If It's Not a Hell YES, Then It's a No

Inside "The Purge" and making space (a lot of space) for better things

Welcome back to the Weekly Hurdle! Every Friday, I’ll share a blog post, follow it up with a thought-provoking prompt to take you into the weekend, and finish things off with some content picks. Please, tag or DM me on social @hurdlepodcast and @emilyabbate with your thoughts. This newsletter is free and will stay free thanks to sponsors and the individuals that opt-in to give. Consider signing up as a paid subscriber.

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About once every eight weeks or so, I bring a couple bags of clothing to Goodwill. I know. You’re likely wondering “where does all this stuff come from?” Sometimes, TBH, I wonder the same thing. How is it that I continuously manage to find things in my home that I can do without? 

Some of it’s just stuff that I once thought “Oh, I’ll wear this again!” and then never do. Clothes or sneakers that I hold onto for years at a time that I hope to get ~one~ more good wear out of, at least. The rest of it — well, it’s work “stuff.” Being a fitness journalist who’s always reviewing the latest and greatest, I get plenty of things sent my way. Sneakers. Shirts. Tights. Gear. Weights. Foods. [Insert name of random wellness-related product here.] Sometimes, it’s exciting! Who doesn’t love presents?! 

I’m grateful that this is part of the gig. I will say, however, that sometimes it can feel a tad wasteful. On the positive — when COVID hit, a lot of brands that I’ve been working with for years got a little smarter about how they “seed” (that’s the appropriate term, I believe) gear for potential coverage. They pop into my inbox and ask “is this something that you would be interested in checking out?” instead of just throwing it in the mail and calling it a day.

When I was working in-house for a big publishing company (i.e. Rodale or Conde Nast), I could often find a great home for the products that came to my desk. As you can imagine, working in an office of 30+ individuals, one woman’s trash was another woman’s treasure.

But, I now live (and work) on my own. Why some brands think that I need multiples of the same thing without consulting me first blows my mind, as if I still have an office filled with humans to share said products with. (I once was sent four cases of Super Coffee. I actually brought them outside of my building and stood on the street handing out bottles to people who walked by. Someone, give this woman — AKA me — a paycheck.) 

(Let it be known, I think Super coffee is delicious.)

I digress.

Last weekend, I did a massive clean-out of my home that I referred to as “The Purge.” It was something that I’ve been looking forward to for some time; an event that I saved an entire day for and even called in reinforcements. One of my good girlfriends came over (she’s been in my “COVID bubble” for months now and we both get regularly tested), and we got to it. We started with the kitchen closet. Then the kitchen cabinets. Then the bedroom closet. Then under the bed. Then the bedroom dresser.

Oh dear, did we uncover a lot. An old Weight Watchers weigh-in log. Heels that I couldn’t walk in now if you paid me. I had at least 20 jackets in one closet. Letters from ex-boyfriends tucked away in memory boxes and gifts that were never given. (Does anyone else ever buy someone you’re dating something, then you stop dating, and then you keep it in your home? Just me?)

As the hours persisted, I got really ruthless with saying “that’s out.” Hadn’t worn it in a year? Out. Didn’t love the way it fit? Out. Have two of the same thing? Unless it’s my go-to running tights or a bodysuit I can’t imagine my life without, out. Out of style? Out. None of that “oh maybe,” bullshit. Either a “hell yes,” or a “hell no.”

It.
Felt.
Awesome.

By the time everything was said and done, I had ten bags of donations. Once we carted them over to my local Goodwill, I walked back into the apartment — now alone — and just stood there, staring.

What else should I be letting go of? I wondered.

We hold onto things because maybe we’re scared, right? “OK” relationships, maybe a job that isn’t really serving us anymore, a car that you know you need to replace, or a laptop that’s barely functioning. Wide range there. But the thing about all of these things (and so many more) is that we’re used to life with them. They’re familiar. We’re comfortable with them, even though they can — at times — make life more difficult. Often times, we accept the frustrations that come with the familiarity of these things because it feels easier to deal with those than start over. 

Well. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta start over. Press the restart button. Clean out the shit you don’t need in favor of space. Admittedly, letting go takes courage.

Letting go takes guts.

But you know what they say, right? You’ll never know until you try.  

PROMPT: OK, this isn’t a prompt. Get rid of three things this weekend. Yep, I dare you. Clean out a drawer. Hop on the donation train. DM me or comment below with what you’re tossing out in your own Purge.

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HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK

READ (+ WATCH): The New York Times: “I Achieved My Wildest Dreams. Then Depression Hit.”
The video that goes along with this Op-Ed from runner Alexi Pappas stopped me in my tracks earlier this week. In it, she argues that we should view physical and mental health as equally important — as treatable as an injury like a torn meniscus. “Imagine if sports — and society — designated the same amount of resources toward mental health screening and treatment as they do to physical well being,” she says.

WATCH: Happiest Season on Hulu

Haven’t turned this on yet, but it looks cute. Bright little holiday movie telling the story of two women in love (Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis) who go home to meet the parents for the first time. Add in Daniel Levy (Schitt’s Creek), and it’s a yes from me, Dawg.

LISTEN: New Mindset, Who ‘Dis? 50 Shades of ‘OK’ Relationships
Sometimes I just scroll through the “top episodes” in the “health + fitness” category on Apple Podcasts looking for new content. I found this gem in this week’s scroll. I find host Kenny Case’s perspective really interesting. On “OK” relationships (ones that prevent loneliness but don’t really offer you that home run feeling) he says: “I have found in life that the fastest road to an OK relationship is to pursue what you’re told you’re supposed to want in a partner versus what you actually want in a partner.” Feel free to chime in with your two cents in the comments below.

BUY: Lululemon Scuba Oversized Sherpa ½ Zip ($168)
For “The Purge,” my friend was wearing a sherpa-style sweatshirt that I got a ton of DMs about (it was an old Aerie purchase). But! Good news: Just noticed that Lululemon put this one back in stock. You’re welcome.

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