On Crying In Public & Supporting Strangers
A small smile (and a tissue) can go a long way.
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I was standing waiting for the downtown 6 train at the Spring Street stop on Thursday morning, arriving in 2 minutes. I looked to my left, and there was a woman who looked about my age standing about eight feet away. We were the only two people in the area. She was crying, discreetly, dressed to go into an office. I looked away, and then I looked back. We caught eyes, and I smiled at her slightly.
“You okay?” I asked.
… That’s always the moment, right? It’s as though even if you feel like you don’t have your shit together, when you’re just marinating in your own feelings you kind of can keep it quasi-together. Then, someone else steps into your bubble and that ability goes out the window. The second someone asks you if you’re alright and you’re not, the flood gates open. I saw her lips purse together as she broke eye contact with me, looking left toward the ground. She looked back at me, cracked a little smile, and shook her head no. Then the tears really started.
I walked two steps closer to her.
“I’ve lived in New York for over 10 years. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve cried in public on subway platforms.”
We both laughed. Fact: Crying in public is without-a-doubt a rite of passage as a New Yorker.
“Whatever it is, it’s probably good to feel all this stuff right now even though it clearly feels pretty crappy.”
She nodded and smiled again. I wished I had a tissue to offer her. A few years ago, I was headed home from Brooklyn on the Q train having my own moment and caught eyes with an elderly woman sitting across from me going over the Manhattan Bridge. I immediately looked away, but noticed out of my peripheral vision that she was digging into her bag. She pulled out a travel pack of tissues, and then she proceeded to offer me one. I felt another wave of emotion come over me as I cracked a smile and grabbed one from her. She nodded. I got off at the next stop.
I didn’t get her name this morning. I didn’t offer mine, either. The train pulled into the station, we exchanged one last smile, and I veered to the right to get into a different car. I’d like to think that maybe one day, she’ll think about Thursday morning like I think about that woman on the Manhattan bound Q train. She’ll remember the girl that offered her a smile when she didn’t feel like smiling. She’ll take the support I offered her and bring that to someone else who needs it, too.
There’s a lot happening right now in our world. Emotions are high. So, maybe, try to carry a little extra compassion and kindness in your interactions. Trust me, it goes a long, long way. And you’ll never regret carrying it.
Keep hurdling,
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
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What I’m Listening To: HIBT Lab! Featuring Cassey Ho
Was super interesting to hear about how Blogilates founder Cassey Ho almost stumbled on this world accidentally. Today, she has a YouTube channel with more than 6 million subscribers and a billion views, as well as an apparel brand, product lines at Target, and a Pilates certification program.
Gear I’m Loving: Raycon's The Fitness Buds Bluetooth Earbuds
From Chelsey: “I was in need of some Bluetooth earbuds for the office, and was influenced from social media to give Raycons a try. I've really enjoyed their fit, overall sound quality, and awareness mode — which allows you to hear what's going on around you.”
What I’m Reading: The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins
Someone sent me this video of Mel Robbins on Rich Roll last week, and then I felt compelled to buy this book knowing that I was going to see her live on stage for the first time at Tunde’s New York book tour stop. It’s an easy read, I’m about halfway through in a few days. In it, Mel teaches readers how to lift themselves up and be their own biggest hype man —by implementing a simple action that can shift attitude, mindset, and behavior.
Quote I’m Loving: “When I say no, it opens up the space for a hell yes somewhere else.” — Tunde Oyeneyin
Thanks to my friends at InsideTracker for sponsoring this week’s newsletter.
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🎧 NEW PODCAST EPISODE: 205. Tunde Oyeneyin, Peloton Instructor
Welcome Tunde Oyeneyin back to Hurdle! So excited to welcome my friend back for her third Hurdle appearance, here to talk about how things have been going over the past 365 plus, a very exciting new chapter (literally): Her upcoming book! Speak: Find Your Voice, Trust Your Gut, and Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be came out this week, and she's giving us the rundown of what we can expect from it. Plus: What happens when passion and purpose intersect, how manifestation works (in her experience), and how to channel a winning mindset when going through tough times.
🎧 NEW PODCAST EPISODE: #HURDLEMOMENT: How to Manage Burnout & 'Break the Matrix'
Nick Dio has a job today that he only dreamed out when he was younger: Vice President of relationships for Gary Vee. As one could imagine, Nick's days can be hectic, featuring a never-ending list of action items and A LOT of meetings. An old friend of mine, Nick and I recently sat down to talk about his best-practice tips for navigating physical and emotional burnout. We talk about how to " break the matrix," his strategy for fighting the mundane and making life more exciting, and his recommendations for tackling that to-do list with a better attitude.
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