Repeat After Me: This Has Nothing to Do With You
Taking the time to find some perspective during difficult exchanges.
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It’s really easy to be a keyboard warrior. Someone has a moment when they’re feeling bold or frustrated or excited or [insert other emotion here], and suddenly they’re tapping away, responding to tweets, commenting on Instagram, and firing off emails.
… I got an email yesterday from someone apologizing for something that happened at the end of 2020. I hadn’t paid much thought to the exchange at the time, but I do remember it. Mostly, I remember feeling caught me off guard. In this new email, she said something that I want to share with all of you:
“I owe you an apology. A while ago, I responded to something you tweeted in an unkind way. My response had nothing to do with what you shared and everything to do with the dark place I was at the time. I still think about how that must have made you feel, and I regret it. I’m really sorry.”
I really appreciated the note.
We’ve all been in this position: Both on the receiving end of someone’s feelings or perhaps, the person to deliver the blow. And while it’s easy to get caught up in the moment as the receiver, I encourage you to remember what this woman told me: 99.9% of the time, negative feedback actually has nothing to do with you. So often, individuals are caught up in what’s going on in their own lives. And when that happens? It’s easier to inflict hurt or frustration on someone else (intentionally or unintentionally), rather than navigate/confront what’s really bothering them.
That doesn’t make cruel words “right.” It does, however, help put things in perspective. You won’t always see eye to eye with everyone around you. But you can choose to be kind. When in doubt, I think of my family motto: “Do good.” Then, I come back to calm, take a deep breath, and keep hurdling.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
I’m Listening To: Simply Intuitive by Michelle Pillepich
I had registered dietitian Michelle on the show not all that long ago to chat, and this week she launched her own podcast called Simply Intuitive! Excited to see where this takes her. Episode one is all about finding a place of peace with your body image during the summer months.
I’m Wearing: lululemon Power Thru High-Rise Short 6"
OK I usually don’t rec something from the same brand two weeks in a row, but I took a risk on these shorts that are online-only — and it paid off. Last year lululemon made a short called the Invigorate. They are my go-to, but weren’t re-released this season. So! This new style is a great substitute.
It’s got two great, secure side pockets. A more compressive version of lululemon’s Fast & Free, made of a similar fabric. On the expensive side at $68? Yes. Definitely. But considering I’m wearing them once a week during my entire marathon training cycle, I’d say a short that doesn’t ride up and keeps my phone/keys/cards in place is 100 percent worth the splurge.
I’m Watching: The Summer I Turned Pretty
Groundbreaking content? Absolutely not. But sometimes, you just need an easy watch to forget everything else that’s going on. Series is based on a book by author Jenny Han, following a newly-minted 16-year-old during a summer at the beach.
I’m Reading: Atomic Habits by James Clear
I was scanning my book shelf last night and realized that it’s been a minute since I revisited this one (one of my favorites). One of the biggest through lines: “Small changes in context can lead to large changes in behavior over time.”
Quote I’m Loving: “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” — Morrie Schwartz
Thanks to LMNT — an electrolyte drink mix with everything you need and nothing you don't — for supporting Hurdle.
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Head to DrinkLMNT.com/Hurdle to get a FREE LMNT sample pack with purchase. To claim this deal you must go to DrinkLMNT.com/Hurdle — no code necessary.
🎧 NEW PODCAST EPISODE: 210. Nikki Hiltz, Professional Runner
When Nikki Hiltz came out as transgender in 2021, they knew it was the right choice to speak their truth. Still, that didn’t make it easy. This week on Hurdle, they’re talking about how opening up about their gender identity impacted their athletic performance — an especially tough #hurdlemoment during an Olympic year.
We dive into Nikki’s decision to go unsponsored until recently, just this week announcing a new global ambassadorship with lululemon. They also give us insight this year’s @Pride5K (including a first-ever in-person race), and shed some light on what it’s like to be an advocate to the LGBTQ community. I so appreciated Nikki’s openness and perspective, one that can remind us all of the importance of trusting your gut and being your own biggest fan.
🎧 NEW PODCAST EPISODE: #HURDLEMOMENT: A Podiatrist Answers All Of Your Foot Questions
Plantar fasciitis. Achilles pain. Strains. Sprains. Foot problems are the absolute worst, which is why I'm talking with Dr. Emily Splichal, a New York City podiatrist, human movement specialist, and CEO of Naboso. We’re chatting about all of your hot foot questions, from what to do about plantar fasciitis and how to treat it (and even prevent it), plus rapping about achilles pain, stress fractures, bruised toenails, and so much more. Have more foot questions? Hit me with a listener question and get it answered in an upcoming 5-MINUTE FRIDAY episode.
HURDLER SPOTLIGHT
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This week’s Hurdler of the week: Vanessa
Location: Washington, DC
Occupation: Advising dean
What’s going on in your life that excites you right now?
I wrote a book! It's called It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint: My Road to the Marathon and Ph.D. It’s the story of taking on two challenges: training for the marathon and beginning (and finishing) a doctoral program in medieval history. Although both challenges may seem to be in stark opposition to one another, they share a lot in common, and both require overcoming significant mental roadblocks.
There will be parts of this memoir that connect more with writers and students; other sections will resonate with runners and other athletes. The advice I’ve received and lessons I’ve learned along this journey translate into both sectors. But I hope that the larger message of this book will be relatable to those who are taking on any new challenge: whether it’s going to school, taking up a sport, starting a new job, beginning a family, or any other endeavor that at times seems insurmountable.
What’s one thing you love about Hurdle?
That the podcast doesn't just talk about the hard moments, but really delves into how people respond to the hurdle moments. Not everything is neatly boxed up in the story — there's time to really unpack these challenging episodes.
How can we support you?
Check out the book! I wish I could've read when I was struggling, so I hope others can find comfort in it. You can also follow me on Instagram at @VRCinDC.
HOW CAN I SUPPORT HURDLE?
I’m so, so glad you asked!
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Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next week.