Sipping Champagne in the Bathroom

How's that for a newsletter title?

Welcome back to the Weekly Hurdle! Every Friday, I’ll share a blog post, follow it up with a thought-provoking prompt to take you into the weekend, and finish things off with some content picks. Please, tag or DM me on social @hurdlepodcast and @emilyabbate with your thoughts. This newsletter is free and will stay free thanks to sponsors and the individuals that opt-in to give. Consider signing up as a paid subscriber.

Presented by LMNT:

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When I first moved to New York, I didn’t really understand what I was getting into. Growing up just over an hour from the city, I’d come here many, many times since I was a young girl. Mostly for Broadway shows and seasonal things, like gawking at the Rockefeller Tree and shopping in Bryant Park. I even commuted in three days a week for an internship at Fitness in the summer of 2009.

But when you move here, you become immersed in the culture beyond what you’ve seen in episodes of Sex and the City. You learn about bodegas and the cats that reside within. You learn what it means if a subway car is empty during rush hour. You learn that every show you’ve ever watched about NYC lied about real estate. You learn about the pizza, and where to get the best slices. You learn about suggested admission. You learn about “showtime.” You learn that everything you used to do when you were just visiting the city was probably a little lame, from happy hour at Johnny Utahs to waiting in line at Magnolia Bakery (even though the banana pudding is legit). 

A life-changing lesson I learned within the first few months of living here? Real New Yorkers go out during the week. Like, out out. On Mondays. And Tuesdays. And Wednesdays.

I had just walked in the door to my flex two-bedroom apartment on 89th Street on a Tuesday night back in 2012. It was springtime. I was working at CafeMom as an editorial assistant. A friend of mine from college called, asking me if I wanted to join him for dinner. It was his birthday. 

“A bunch of people are coming, and my friend’s getting the bill. Just come.”

“When and where?” I asked.

“Beauty & Essex at 9:30.” 

Something I haven’t mentioned yet: When I moved to New York, I came with a to-do list of 115+ things. Toting the names of restaurants and museums, activities like “walk across the Brooklyn Bridge” and “stay out until dawn,” checking things off the to-do list was how I filled up my time outside of work and working out. On the top of that list? Go to Beauty & Essex — a restaurant tucked behind a fully functional pawnshop in the Lower East Side where they serve complimentary champagne in the bathroom (there’s even a plush, pink seating area to enjoy it next to the sinks) and warm tomato soup dumplings that’ll change your life.

I didn’t love the idea of going to dinner at 9:30 because, well, that was (and still is) around my bedtime. But if someone else was going to be covering the tab (remember: editorial assistant), then I figured I should get dressed up, take the slow-moving M15 bus downtown, and scrounge up my own change to take a cab back home at a reasonable hour. 

I was in.

I won’t go into all of the details, but there were plenty of lessons learned that night. Firstly, there are a lot of people that live in this city that have deep pockets. Within seconds of sitting down at a half-moon banquet in a dimly lit upstairs nook regulars called “The Pearl,” the entire menu showed up in front of us. Like, at least a thousand dollars worth of food. Before I could even ask about the tuna poke wonton tacos, champagne followed suit, carried by beautiful women wearing snug dresses with sparklers in tow.

That’s when things slowly began to get hazy. I sat there in awe, sipping my own personal bottle, watching a DJ tucked away inside a small booth near the staircase about 200 feet away. Before I knew it, dinner was followed by dancing at Le Bain, my friend asking if we should get a hotel room (my response: “We LIVE HERE! Why would we do that?”), and me finally ending up back in my bed on the Upper East Side sometime around 2 a.m. with a 7:30 work alarm looming over my not-exactly-sober self. 

After that night, my New York life changed. I made a lot of good friends that worked in hospitality and specifically, at Beauty & Essex. I started regularly incorporating late weeknight outings to the PHD rooftop (among other spots), pregamed only with a solid post-work nap and laying out my office-ready clothes for the next day. Somehow back then, I was entirely capable of staying out as late as I wanted and getting up early with out repercussions. I prided myself in the fact that I could get home in the wee hours of the morning and still make it to a 7:10 a.m. overcrowded Barry’s Bootcamp class in Chelsea, no issue whatsoever.

So. Fast forward about 6 years.

On Tuesday of this week, I was going about my normal routine, biking to one of my favorite cafes after doing a track workout. I found myself rolling across Essex Street, between Rivington and Stanton, staring at a closed Beauty & Essex. I slowed my roll (literally). I pulled off to the side for a few seconds. I thought about all of the nights I had there. The outfits I wore. The relationships I made — so many wonderful humans, of whom have moved on to do unbelievable things, few of them actually still living here in New York. I think about the girl I was then compared to the woman I am now. A woman with a bigger understanding of just how much this beautiful place has to offer.

Let me tell you: I haven’t been a big “going out” person for some time now, but you know what I could go for?

Some champagne in the bathroom.

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PROMPT: What’s something from 10-or-so years ago that has played a big part in who you are today? What did it teach you? 

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HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK

WATCH: Barack Obama and Steph Curry on IG Live
I love watching Steph put his interviewer hat on. Great conversation between two great men, including this takeaway from Barack which hits home for me: “The most important thing a leader does is set the tone in terms of culture, values around which you are organizing yourself. You have to ask yourself, how do you help the people around you succeed.” 

WATCH: A Match Made In Hell
This commercial should earn an award. Just click it. You’re welcome.

READ: 65 (Productive) Things to Do When You’re Bored At Work
Got this pick from Hurdler Nicole’s newsletter (thanks, for the shout out this week!). If you’re like me, you’re probably feeling a little burnt out lately. So, make the most of your staring-into-space time by being a little productive. These tips from Career Contessa are a good place to get started.

WATCH: The Undoing on HBO
IDK how I only found out about this over the Thanksgiving long weekend, but I watched all five episodes within 24 hours before the season finale earlier this week. I think it’s so good. Basic plot synopsis (if you’ve been living under a rock): Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant are a married couple with a son living on the Upper West Side. There’s a murder, and the show follows along as detectives and the community try to figure out who did it. 

LISTEN: Trained, Harnessing the Power of Your Mind with Alia Crum
I nerd out at the opportunity to have a better understanding of how our minds work, even when mine feels like it’s moving at 1,000 mph. This episode of Nike’s Trained is a solid listen, and Ryan Flaherty (a past Hurdler) always asks the best questions.

SET: Some Goals
I’m offering two more end-of-year goal setting workshops in the next couple weeks, and I’d love to see you there. I know. I KNOW! This year has been frustrating. We owe it to ourselves to start doing the best we can with what we do have. I promise, you’ll walk away from these workshops feeling excited instead of tired, ready to do some good in 2021 (and beyond). Use “NEWSLETTER” at checkout for $5 off. 

December 9 at 7:30 p.m. ET
December 16 at 1 p.m. ET

P.S. I’m jonesing to make Hurdle merch (specifically, mugs and crew neck sweatshirts). If you happen to work for a company that can help me with this — preferably in a way that creates items to order, then ships ‘em straight to consumers (this apartment is not big enough for swag) — comment below or hit me up.

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Thanks to LMNT — an electrolyte drink mix with everything you need & nothing you don't — for sponsoring today’s newsletter.

I want to take a moment to talk to you all about LMNT, zero-sugar hydration to support your active lifestyle. I’m the saltiest sweater (cute, I know). These electrolytes have been my go-to recently on long bike rides and runs. As in, I actually look forward to hydrating because they taste like a total treat. I’m BIG on their orange and raspberry salt flavors, but they’ve got a fun, seasonal variety pack worth checking out. With LMNT, you can:

☀️ Kickstart your mornings

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Snag an LMNT Recharge Variety Pack and find your flavor, today.

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HOW CAN I SUPPORT HURDLE?

I’m so, so glad you asked!

SUBSCRIBE, RATE, AND REVIEW HURDLE: 
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JOIN: THE *Secret* FACEBOOK GROUP

HURDLE BOOK CLUB 
Our next book club gathering will be Monday, December 7 at 8 p.m. ET. and we’re going to read I Thought It Was Just Me” (But It Isn’t) by Brené Brown. To sign up, click here.

Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next week.

P.S. A huge congrats to Hurdler Emma for starting a blog this week! If you have something you’re proud of and will let me brag about you, feel free to shoot me an email at emily@hurdle.us.