Stop Questioning Whether or Not You're 'Good Enough'
Depriving yourself of things because you're scared of the unknown? Stop that. Stop that right now.
Welcome back to the Weekly Hurdle! Every Friday, I’ll share a blog post, follow it up with a thought-provoking prompt to take you into the weekend, and finish things off with some content picks. Please, tag or DM me on social @hurdlepodcast and @emilyabbate with your thoughts. This newsletter is free and will stay free thanks to sponsors and the individuals that opt-in to give. Consider signing up as a paid subscriber.
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On Tuesday mornings I go to track practice. That’s a funny sentence within itself, especially when I think back to high school. In 2003 I didn’t make the junior varsity volleyball team because I couldn’t run a mile in under 10:00. In high school, I would never in a million years think that I, Emily D. Abbate, would do track. I was in the musical — despite barely being able to carry a tune. I was in a Jewish youth group. Heck, I was regional president of said youth group.
So, yeah.
Back to the present.
I’ll start with this: I was really, really hesitant to join my local track club. There was lingering doubt, wondering if I was “good enough” to run with other people. Worried I’d be too slow. I was insecure about fitting in. But with some encouragement from friends, I paid my dues (literally) and did the damn thing.
Things got off to a rough start. I joined last winter. By the time it was warm enough outside to assemble for an actual practice, COVID was starting to kick in here in New York.
These days, we’re slowly getting back into the swing of things — in a safe, socially-distanced, masked way. The doubts and worries I had at the end of 2019, they feel like a thing of the past.
These days, I feel strong.
These days, I feel excited.
Tuesdays are now my favorite day of the week.
I’ve got a whole routine. It’s the only day I set an alarm for. I’m up at 5:40. I write in my journal. I sip a small cup of Nespresso. I head downtown before the sun comes up, guided by the small lights on my bike — which also brings me joy. It takes me about 25 minutes to get from Point A to Point B. There, I’m greeted with friendly faces. We all show up with the same bit of slight lingering uncertainty, wondering if we’re ready for what’s about to go down. Practice then goes for about an hour. I run with the same small 4-to-6-person pace group week after week. I almost always hug the front left corner of our small, socially-distanced squad, running the innermost lane. We proceed to push each other. It feels good.
At the track, the other stuff doesn’t matter.
Actually, let me rephrase that.
Other things matter, but the track is your opportunity to focus on the run.
Let the other things go, for at least a bit.
Use whatever may be frustrating you to your advantage.
Throw yourself into the work.
And just be.
At the track, you show up and you give it what you’ve got in that moment. You try. You really really try. It’s pretty likely that you’ll let out a few expletives at one point or another as you gasp for air under your damp face covering.
Every single week, when it’s all said and done, I feel grateful for getting out of bed in the first place.
Weekly, I follow-up our early morning practice by going to one of my favorite spots for breakfast. I look forward to the subtle crunch of a homemade peanut butter banana cacao muffin accompanied by a warm coffee (it’s as decadent as it sounds). I sit there, watching the cars and passersby. I’ve gotten to know the other people who make this spot a part of their Tuesday routine. Oh, to be a “regular” somewhere again.
I was hanging out in my corner spot sipping java earlier this week, thinking about my new normal. It hit me, then; the fact that I almost didn’t join the track club at all. I wondered: How much would it suck, if I missed out on this experience? Granted, I wouldn’t really know what I was missing out on. But, now that I do …
... the community.
Endorphins.
Camaraderie.
Confidence.
An innate belief in myself that I can do hard things even when life, too, feels hard.
All because I was nervous that I wouldn’t be “enough.”
Letting the stories I was telling myself potentially stand in my way.
Your thoughts, as Kara Loewentheil said, create our feelings — not external circumstances.
We’re in charge of our thoughts.
Good stuff happens when you take back control from those self-doubting thoughts.
Tuesdays are a good thing.
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PROMPT: What is one self-limiting thought you’ve had this year that prevented you from taking action? Are you willing to let it go?
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Thanks to Goodr — maker of fun, fashionable, and functional sunglasses that everyone can afford — for sponsoring today’s newsletter.
Fact: You’ll be hard-pressed to find active sunglasses that are as excellent as Goodrs. Not only are they polarized, super cozy, and no-bounce, but they also start at $25 (!). I’m a h-u-g-e fan of their Operation Blackout: Mach Gs (seen in that photo of me up top), which are perfect for both running intervals at the track and casually wearing to my post-coffee errands.
Fun fact: Hurdle listeners apparently really love Goodrs. We’ve already exceeded the original 200 redemptions offered, but I worked some magic and bargained for some more. (Fun fact: Goodr thinks the Hurdlers are rad, too, so that’s pretty cool.) So, head to goodr.com/hurdle and use “HURDLE10” at checkout for $10 off your purchase, ASAP!
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HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
WATCH: The Atlantic & Land Rover Present: John Mayer Goes Outside
I listen to a lot of “John Mayer Radio” on Pandora. This is something I have never admitted publicly before. To me, he’s hilarious and talented and just wonderful. This branded item via Land Rover includes Mayer going for an adorable walk through the woods with an elderly lady named Jenny. It’s endearing and makes me giggle. Especially his inability but determination to try and skip rocks.
READ: What Your Favorite Teen Heartthrobs Look Like Now
When you get older, do you just think older men are more attractive? Because no joke, all of these men look better now than when I had a crush on them a la age 16.
LISTEN: Masego
My friend recently turned me onto this artist, and the way he incorporates the saxophone into a lot of his stuff is such a vibe. Start with “King’s Rant,” “Passport,” and “Tadow.”
LISTEN: Whitney Cummings Good For You podcast with Hilary Duff
According to Hilary Duff, she’s never done a podcast before. (Crazy, right?) This episode is golden, and makes me want to go back and rewatch Lizzie McGuire. Duff as an adult is someone I want to BFF with. Also: I’m clearly in a nostalgic place with the recommendations this week.
BUY: Fall Cycling Gear: Lululemon City to Summit Jacket (On sale for $59 from $168), Rapha Core Jersey ($100), Machines for Freedom The Most Versatile Pant ($245), Roka x Machines for Freedom Oslo Glasses ($175), Specialized Arm Warmers ($50), Run for It All Glove ($42)
I went on my first colder-weather bike ride last week, and I learned a lot. It’s super important to find layers that make you feel comfortable so that you can enjoy this often seasonal hobby that — if you’re like me — you’re not willing to let go of just yet.
The good news is that you don’t have to. There’s a ton of fall-friendly cycling gear that can keep you riding for at least another month, from long pant bibs to this steal of a Lululemon jacket. Also, I would definitely recommend these touchscreen-friendly gloves. They’re not cycling-specific, but they are one of my favorites for any-and-all chillier outdoor sweats come October — and beyond.
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CHECK OUT: HURDLE SESSIONS
All past Sessions are now available on the Hurdle website. Other upcoming sessions that I would love for you to be a part of:
Media Strategy for Fitness Professionals, 9/30 at 7:00 p.m.
October Handling #HURDLEMOMENTS Workshop: 10/7 at 7:00 p.m.
JOIN: THE *Secret* FACEBOOK GROUP
HURDLE BOOK CLUB
This month, we’re reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Book club will be on October 20 at 8 p.m. Register to join, here! First come, first serve, up to 100 attendees!
ALSO! Don’t forget about our One Million Miles for Justice team! This time around, a portion of the race proceeds will support the Children's Defense Fund, a national child advocacy organization that works to uplift all children — especially poor children and children of color.
Click the link above to join team “Hurdlers” (or — make sure to enter the team name at checkout). First time joining in the fun? Use the code “HURDLERS5” for $5 off registration. If you participated previously, use “RETURNPHASE2” for a discount.