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Presented by AG1:
It’s Valentine’s Day next week. I know, simply reading that sentence may make you roll your eyes. Candidly I can’t remember the last time I had a Valentine. However! I am admittedly a sucker for love. I love love! I love the opportunity to love. I love celebrating love. I dig the chance to feel sexy. How lucky are we to tell the people in our lives that we care about them?
Sappy? Perhaps.
There are so many things I’d tell my younger self when it comes to love and relationships, although I think she’d likely roll her eyes, too. The two biggest lesson I’ve learned on my personal quest to find love:
1. If you’re unhappy with yourself, you’re not going to be satisfied in a relationship or within dating.
I want you (read: dear future partner) to know who you are. That way, you can bring your full self to the relationship. The relationship shouldn’t be the thing that fulfills holes you feel in your own life. The relationship shouldn’t be the source of all of your happiness. I want to be as close to 100% as possible, I want my partner to be in the same 100% boat, and together — it’s simply amplified. I have absolutely loved the opportunity to get to know and date myself over the last handful of years, and I’m firm in my stance that I’m better for it.
2. If you feel like you can’t be yourself (say what’s on your mind, act how you would normally act, are trying to mask something) — then you’re not with your person.
Every relationship, no matter how short or long, teaches you something about yourself and what you’re looking for. For so long, I thought that finding the right relationship meant I had to get someone to like me. But what about whether or not you really like them? In the case of finding a longterm partner, this is someone you’re thinking of spending decades of your life with. That means that you owe it to yourself to be 100% your true self. Don’t hide your hobbies. Don’t worry about if they’ll like your friends. What’s meant to be … will. With the right person, it won’t feel so hard. I promise.
TELL ME: What lessons have you learned in dating? And are you a fan of Valentine’s Day, or think it’s overrated?
Keep hurdling,
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
I’m Listening To: Gracie Abrams
I never heard of Gracie before watching the Grammy’s red carpet last week, and now I’ve got her album in the rotation.
I’m Reading: One Word That Will Change Your Life by Jon Gordon
If you’ve ever done a workshop with me, then you may be familiar with the one word exercise I prompt regularly. In it, I ask individuals to think of the word that they want to encompass what will happen for them in a certain period of time. For me, “great” was my one word in 2023. After facilitating a workshop earlier this week, a woman asked me if I’d ever read this book, which I immediately ordered on Amazon after our conversation. Will report back.
Gear I’m Loving: Dagne Dover Dopp Kit
This is the perfect travel-friendly makeup/toiletry case. I love everything about it, from the plastic swivel hanging hook to the mesh zipper pocket for my jewelry. Plus: The cute little toothbrush holder.
Prompt I’m Loving: Write about a time you felt really seen and heard.
Quote I’m Loving: “When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running.” — James Clear
Thanks to AG1 — the daily Foundational Nutrition supplement that supports whole-body health — for supporting Hurdle.
If there’s one super simple thing you can do for your health over the holiday season, it’s investing this. I originally gave AG1 a try years ago because I was tired of taking so many supplements and wanted a single solution that supports my entire body and covers my nutritional bases. Plus, I was popping way too many gummy vitamins. I wanted better gut health, a boost (or similar) in energy, immune system support, and also wanted a supplement that actually tastes great. I shake it up every morning after my workout, and truly it makes me feel energized and confident knowing that I’m doing something good for my body by giving it the nutrition I deserve — including 75 whole food-sourced ingredients, prebiotics, probiotics, adaptogens, and superfoods.
If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkAG1.com/hurdle.
This week I welcome my dear friend, Editor-in-Chief of Marie Claire, Nikki Ogunnaike. We met through the industry what seems like forever ago, and I can truly say that she is someone who makes me want to be a better person. In episode 288, Nikki opens up about her career journey, her relationship with exercise, and what she does day-to-day to feel at home in her body. She also provides some guidance to anyone trying to find their way in their own profession, and answers the always popular questions of how to own your no.
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Another (weekly) Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next week.
I've always hated valentines day. In the past, it's made me depressed and I've spent it with food, sad movies, and a good cry. My first relationship didn't help that feeling and so I kind of swore off the holiday. He and I had a bad relationship, but to Emily's point, I didn't have any healthy relationships with myself. I spent three years working on all of that.
Then, I met Joshua, and my first valentine's day with him was the most intimate moment I've ever shared with another living soul. It was technically our first date because we are a Long Distance Couple. He lives in Kentucky and I went to visit him for the first time. We went to the aquarium in Newport and then he bought us expensive steak lunch, complete with mimosas and chocolate cake. We went to a candlelight concert to conclude our night. He really impressed me. We have fun plans this year too. This year, he's here with me in NY because he specifically wanted to be with me for it.
It's so important to start that conversation with yourself and build that relationship before you start assembling one with someone else. BUT, always remember that it's okay to still be figuring out some pieces while you're romantically loving another person. You don't have to have it all "fixed" before you can fall in love. I sure didn't and still don't. My boyfriend definitely doesn't, but we help each other, everyday.
I have always enjoyed Valentine’s Day because a) I’m artsy fartsy and like making valentines or the receptacle you would have on your desk as a kid in school and b) I love getting and sending mail. I LOVE sending close friends and family cards to tell them how much I love them. Not that you need a holiday just for that but Valentine’s Day means sparkly cute cards that are special just for this holiday. Despite having been in and presently in a relationship - no partner has ever really done anything special to celebrate the day with me. I have low expectations for it but adore picking out cards and the special stamps to reach those I cherish.
I 100% agree with Emily’s takeaways about relationships. You have to love yourself and love being yourself before you can attempt to join another in a romantic partnership as a couple.
As a woman who was divorced by the age of 33 and did fine peace (after a lot of anger) and love again - I think one must also know what love does not look like so we don’t talk ourselves into codependent situations.
Ps- I love Emily’s picture with the red balloons!!
♥️♥️ Amber Slam aka @britneychapstix