I've always hated valentines day. In the past, it's made me depressed and I've spent it with food, sad movies, and a good cry. My first relationship didn't help that feeling and so I kind of swore off the holiday. He and I had a bad relationship, but to Emily's point, I didn't have any healthy relationships with myself. I spent three years working on all of that.
Then, I met Joshua, and my first valentine's day with him was the most intimate moment I've ever shared with another living soul. It was technically our first date because we are a Long Distance Couple. He lives in Kentucky and I went to visit him for the first time. We went to the aquarium in Newport and then he bought us expensive steak lunch, complete with mimosas and chocolate cake. We went to a candlelight concert to conclude our night. He really impressed me. We have fun plans this year too. This year, he's here with me in NY because he specifically wanted to be with me for it.
It's so important to start that conversation with yourself and build that relationship before you start assembling one with someone else. BUT, always remember that it's okay to still be figuring out some pieces while you're romantically loving another person. You don't have to have it all "fixed" before you can fall in love. I sure didn't and still don't. My boyfriend definitely doesn't, but we help each other, everyday.
I have always enjoyed Valentine’s Day because a) I’m artsy fartsy and like making valentines or the receptacle you would have on your desk as a kid in school and b) I love getting and sending mail. I LOVE sending close friends and family cards to tell them how much I love them. Not that you need a holiday just for that but Valentine’s Day means sparkly cute cards that are special just for this holiday. Despite having been in and presently in a relationship - no partner has ever really done anything special to celebrate the day with me. I have low expectations for it but adore picking out cards and the special stamps to reach those I cherish.
I 100% agree with Emily’s takeaways about relationships. You have to love yourself and love being yourself before you can attempt to join another in a romantic partnership as a couple.
As a woman who was divorced by the age of 33 and did fine peace (after a lot of anger) and love again - I think one must also know what love does not look like so we don’t talk ourselves into codependent situations.
Ps- I love Emily’s picture with the red balloons!!
A lesson I learned with love is that may not always last in the capacity you may have wanted and that is okay. Love evolves. Strangers to friends to lovers and perhaps lovers back to strangers.
I've always hated valentines day. In the past, it's made me depressed and I've spent it with food, sad movies, and a good cry. My first relationship didn't help that feeling and so I kind of swore off the holiday. He and I had a bad relationship, but to Emily's point, I didn't have any healthy relationships with myself. I spent three years working on all of that.
Then, I met Joshua, and my first valentine's day with him was the most intimate moment I've ever shared with another living soul. It was technically our first date because we are a Long Distance Couple. He lives in Kentucky and I went to visit him for the first time. We went to the aquarium in Newport and then he bought us expensive steak lunch, complete with mimosas and chocolate cake. We went to a candlelight concert to conclude our night. He really impressed me. We have fun plans this year too. This year, he's here with me in NY because he specifically wanted to be with me for it.
It's so important to start that conversation with yourself and build that relationship before you start assembling one with someone else. BUT, always remember that it's okay to still be figuring out some pieces while you're romantically loving another person. You don't have to have it all "fixed" before you can fall in love. I sure didn't and still don't. My boyfriend definitely doesn't, but we help each other, everyday.
I have always enjoyed Valentine’s Day because a) I’m artsy fartsy and like making valentines or the receptacle you would have on your desk as a kid in school and b) I love getting and sending mail. I LOVE sending close friends and family cards to tell them how much I love them. Not that you need a holiday just for that but Valentine’s Day means sparkly cute cards that are special just for this holiday. Despite having been in and presently in a relationship - no partner has ever really done anything special to celebrate the day with me. I have low expectations for it but adore picking out cards and the special stamps to reach those I cherish.
I 100% agree with Emily’s takeaways about relationships. You have to love yourself and love being yourself before you can attempt to join another in a romantic partnership as a couple.
As a woman who was divorced by the age of 33 and did fine peace (after a lot of anger) and love again - I think one must also know what love does not look like so we don’t talk ourselves into codependent situations.
Ps- I love Emily’s picture with the red balloons!!
♥️♥️ Amber Slam aka @britneychapstix
A lesson I learned with love is that may not always last in the capacity you may have wanted and that is okay. Love evolves. Strangers to friends to lovers and perhaps lovers back to strangers.