How To Do Hard Things When You Don't Want To
A couple of tools for the toolbox, if you will.
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Presented by InsideTracker:
Every week before I tippity-tap words to laptop for this newsletter, I’m asking myself “what’s the why?” I want to make sure that this regular piece of content that I create provides some sort of value to the people that consume it regularly. My process typically goes a little something like this: On the first Tuesday of every month, I sit down and plot out what the month’s topics will be. Some weeks, I go to work on the topic I outlined, and it doesn’t really feel like it clicks. In that case, I’ll pull an audible; write on something else.
Anyway, I tell you this because today’s one of those days. I’ve been thinking a lot about a conversation I had with my doorman earlier this week. At the top of the year, he was really uncomfortable, having awful, debilitating back pain. He sought out a myriad of different opinions from experts on what to do and was advised by his doctor to lose weight before further evaluating the potential for surgery.
After they had that conversation, I watched as he melted away, slowly but steadily, over the past four or five months. A few weeks back, he told me he’d lost 50 pounds and was feeling great. His back pain? Gone. He was cleared to exercise again and was excited to get back to strength training.
First, I gave him a high five.
The next day, I returned with a pair of my go-to strength training sneakers as a gift.
Fast forward to this week. On Thursday morning he said to me: “I want you to know, I think about stopping often. Then I think about how I see you walking out that door most every morning. So, on Monday, I went for a run/walk.”
Another high five! I asked him what that effort looked like. He told me one-minute on, one-minute off for “a while.”
“I’m so proud of you,” I told him, smiling. We got into a discussion on why “good” things feel so hard. I explained to him a little bit of the psychology behind why it’s easier to maintain bad habits than good ones. In the moment, a commonly-labeled bad habit most always feels good. Bad habits are most always rapidly reinforced. Examples: Drinking alcohol with friends, smoking a cigarette, or staying up late to comfort watch a show without thinking how you’ll feel in the morning. We are biologically predisposed to repeat behaviors based on their immediate consequences, whether those are social, emotional, or physical.
"I never thought of it that way,” he told me.
So, I shared with him my two strategies to make a habit stick: Firstly, an accountability buddy (I told him that can be me, if he wants). Having someone to chat with about the good and the bad, the wins and the losses, and help you find motivation when it’s waning is beyond helpful.
Secondly, a reward. You know, I remember when I was on Weight Watchers in college, the leaders always said food-based rewards weren’t the way (how '“we’re about weight-loss!” of them). Still—without fail—after weigh-in every weekend I would drive myself in my navy Volkswagen Jetta to the Dunkin’ Donuts down the street for my glazed stick donut. It was my happy moment, a (literal) taste of success of another week of “success.”
… Almost two decades later, rewards these days look like treating myself to a new rug for the studio office, splurging at a restaurant I’ve wanted to try, or booking myself a massage. I give myself a benchmark (“I want to stick to my training plan for the month,” or “I want to journal daily for three weeks”) and make sure to be deliberate about what happens if (read: when) I achieve that thing.
Celebrating yourself feels good. Especially when we admit to ourselves that good-for-you habits can truly be hard to stick with.
Anyway. I’m proud of him. It feels like a privilege to be a part of his journey. I can assure you all, that there are people that feel the same way about you. If I’m being honest, he’s the one reminding me just how important it is to keep going.
Keep hurdling,
P.S. My go-to strength training sneakers are currently 20 percent off.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
Gear I’m Loving: Left On Friday Throwback Bottom
Firstly, LOF is doing their bi-annual sale starting today, and everything on the site is 30% off. So, there’s that. Secondly, I searched far and wide for the ideal high-cut, high-leg bikini bottom for years. When I was introduced to this brand last summer, I fell in love. I’d say if you’re in between two sizes, size up. This is my go-to bottom, and I love that their suits are so easy to mix and match.
Gear I’m Loving: Wilson Winning Tennis Dress
I went into the store to try on a few different styles last week and fell in love with this one. Then, I learned these things come in three-piece sets! (Hi, I’m Emily, and I’m new here.) The dress is super flattering, and the perfect choice for when I cross off “tennis lesson” from my new-thing-a-week bucket list. In the meantime, I’ll just have to wear it for errands and brunch.
I’m Watching: Perfect Match on Netflix
I’ve been sucked in. I confess.
NEW ON THE SHOW
From the age of three, Sunny Choi dreamt of going to the Olympics. She thought that it would be for gymnastics, but she made the difficult decision to forgo that in favor of more “conventional” stability. At business school at Penn, she first tried break dancing, and ultimately fell in love. In 2022, after making a name for herself as a breaker on the world stage, Choi made the big decision to walk away from her six-figure salary as the Director of Global Creative Operations at Estée Lauder to pursue her lifetime dream of becoming an Olympian. The rest? Well, now it's part of the history books.
“Think of your energy as if it’s expensive. Not everyone can afford it.”
- Taylor Swift on New Heights
Other thoughts and links: Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd just released the podcast episode we’ve all been waiting for. I felt this tweet in my bones. In this week’s installment of “I didn’t expect that,” Gorjana launches Sport Club, featuring a slew of female athlete partners including the WNBA’s Cameron Brink. Recent Hurdle guest Madeline Hill had a big week, too! The Athletic picked up The Sports Gossip Show, the sports podcast that she hosts alongside Charlotte Wilder. Do you have texting thumb?
Have something you want me to nod to in an upcoming Weekly Hurdle? Or, just want to say hi? Let me know, and slam the button below.
MY SOMETHING NEW
One of my goals for 2025 is to do something new every single week. I wrote about this earlier this year. Love these recaps? Let me know in the comments ⬇️
Monday, August 4: Good Story Run Club
This was such a fun experience! My friend Lydia Keating (listen to her on Hurdle, here) started a run club not all that long ago where they run a lap of Brooklyn’s Prospect Park and then go do a storytelling open mic. Last week’s theme was closure. I decided that if I was going to go, I was going to go all-in. (For what it’s worth: You can attend and not get on the mic.) Everyone who went was super friendly, and my body actually felt a lot less stiff running in the evening than the morning—imagine that. Despite little preparation on my side, I had a fun time for my first open mic experience (!!), telling a story about getting let go from my “dream” magazine editor job.
I regularly run in the city with a group called Old Man Run Club—but this inspired me to be better about checking out what’s happening around the city within the community.
Thanks to InsideTracker—the only healthspan analytics program that integrates data from your blood work, DNA, fitness trackers, and nutrition to give you a comprehensive picture of your health—for sponsoring Hurdle.
Your body’s constantly sending you signals through your biomarkers, your DNA, and your fitness data. The problem is, most of us don't know how to listen to our body or interpret these signals. That's where InsideTracker comes in. This summer, I’m gearing up for my 16th marathon with the help of InsideTracker—guiding me on a personal path to my very best self.
Shortly after a quick blood draw, my results appeared in my InsideTracker dashboard within a few days. It was easy for me to understand the ranges and readings; Their biomarker scores show the optimal zone for my body, not generic ranges that treat everyone the same. When I saw that my ferritin was borderline low (super common in women), the app showed me a slew of recommendations on foods that I can incorporate into my diet to increase my levels, including beans and lentils, nuts and seeds, seafood, and lean meats.
I did my first InsideTracker panel years ago, and it gives me super helpful insight each and every time. New to me this time around using the app: Terra, their AI health coach. Terra has access to over 10 billion curated data points and more than 7,000 peer-reviewed studies. So when you have a question like "Why do I feel tired every afternoon?" Terra doesn't just give you generic advice—it analyzes your specific biomarkers and creates personalized recommendations you can actually follow.
Try it for yourself today. Bonus! We’ve got an offer for you. You can get 20% off everything at InsideTracker when you use the code “ITHURDLE” at checkout!
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I am so glad you called an audible and switched to this topic today. I needed this.
I’ve been struggling with consistency (again), and a kick in the butt is much needed. I just wrote down a reward for being consistent with workouts next week. Thanks for that.
Now I need to find a way to get some accountability. I work out alone at home so a classic “meet me at the gym” buddy does not fit my situation. Anyone have ideas for me!
Love the idea of a reward to celebrate. So often, we skip over our small successes and move on to the next goal, but it's so important to take a moment to savor the moment and celebrate the fact that we did the hard thing!